The First Christmas

This is a poem I wrote when I was about twelve years old. Every year at Christmas I stop and think about how amazing it would have been to be there. I LOVE CHRISTMAS!

First Christmas I wish I was standing there on that first Christmas night. That I could see the star so bright. The star that led the Wiseman there. And here the special Christmas prayer. Listen to the angels sing. Glory to the new born king. Fell the love that Mary felt. See the place where the shepherds knelt. Feel Josephs loving hands. Be a part of the angelic bands. I wish I was standing there on that first Christmas night. See baby Jesus, feel his loving light.

Weather the Storm.....

Life has a way of piling things on top of you all at once until you are buried so deep you don't think you will ever get out. And sometimes your afraid if one more thing gets thrown on the pile you are going to break. But have you ever realized, that one thing that gets thrown on the top always seems to set the pile off balance and before you know it the pile has toppled and you're out from under it. Granted, you are left surrounded by a huge mess, but you aren't buried anymore. That is how my life has felt the last little while. During the summer everything was awesome. I had found new independence in an apartment of my own, with the best roommate! I was dating the most miraculous guy, my family and I had some pretty great times, the weather was wonderful, work was going well and I worked with some pretty awesome people. I was getting ready to start my first semester of College(FINALLY!) and I was sooo ready for that! I had the greatest friends, and I didn't know if life could get any better. Then slowly one by one things started to change. College started which was bitter sweet. I am truly thankful for my opportunity to begin my advanced education but it has been a bit overwhelming. My computer has been having issues so I've spent a lot of time at my brothers, or at the library working on assignments. I got to kiss my naps after work goodbye because I knew I probably wouldn't make it to class on time if I let myself lay down for a nap(and I proved myself right a few times.....) and, I stressed myself out wayyy too much about things that turned out to be pretty dumb. However, I gained some pretty great new friends through my classes. And I figured out what I need to do to better structure my time(granted I didn't actually figure this out until like, last week!) Now I'm to the very last week-- FINALS! I am proud to say I made it through my first semester, even though sometimes it felt like all the odds were against me. My wonderful little apartment is still wonderful. But it has been a bit of a challenge for me to keep on top of everything. Work, classes, homework, sleep, housework.... there are not enough hours in the day!!! My sweet roommate has been so patient with me throughout it all. She gentely reminds me when it's my turn to do the dishes and I haven't done them. She reminds me of little things I need to do to help myself when she notices me starting to stress. and she just loves me despite everything. I am so thankful for her and the blessing she has been in my life. As in the lives of most young adults, break ups happen. and they SUCK! It's hard to lose someone you care so much about. And the lessons that come along with it are hard ones to learn. I have found so many things I need to work on in my life to help me be prepared for the young man that I will marry. I have also discovered some important qualities and attributes I want in my future husband. I know dating is designed to help us prepare for our future, I just wish sometimes it didn't have to refine is in quite such a hard way. When school started back up some of my friends went elsewhere for school, and others our schedules just don't mesh well so it has been sad to not see them as much. However, I am so grateful for my friends. With the loss of time with some of them, I have gained time spent with a few. Heidi Thorne and Beka Glenn and I have spent quite a bit of time together the last few months and I don't know what I would do without our girls nights. I have also had some pretty great 'picnics' with Lexi Nielsen, and those always leave me feeling so..... rejuvenated. Sometimes my times with my girls were the only thing keeping me going that week. I have so many other remarkable friends that check in on me, remind me how loved I am, and just remind me of what I want to be like. I am so truly blessed to have such great friends!! As life got busier, family time got reduced. I miss my little munchkins, but I am looking forward to more time over Christmas break to see them. Along with family time disappearing, so did a bunch of other things: money, sleep, time, cleanliness of my car, my backpack, my room, and my apartment in general(again, my sweet Roommate is so patient with me!) Work has got stressful because it's holidays. Yet at the same time hours are being cut which is ALSO stressful. and then of course the weather-- I don't know about you but I HATE it when the case of the blues sets in along with the winter weather. It has been so neat to see so much wildlife in my yard, but there's just something about this time of year I'm not a fan of.... All and all, These last few months for me have been pretty interesting(to say the least). It seemed like my life was a snowball that had been pushed down the hill and there was NO stopping it! But I think it's starting to melt. It's still rolling for sure, but instead of continuously growing bigger, it's just kinda staying the same size. I have come to realize how TRULY blessed I am to live the life I have. Life has not been a tea-party that's for sure, but I know it could have been a lot worse. There are so many people out there who wish my problems were the biggest problems they had. Some people are dealing with the loss of loved ones, terminal illnesses, unemployment, homelessness, and the list goes on. In the big picture of things, I have a pretty good life. It isn't always easy and I wish I could change it, but I am thankful for the blessings the Lord has given to me and the help he has provided for me. I have learned in these last few months that sometimes you have to reach your breaking point before you are ready for the Lord to reach down, take you by the hand, and take control. He is always there to help, but sometimes you just aren't ready for it quite yet. Sometimes, you have to ask for help. Sometimes you just haven't quite learned what it is you are suppose to learn yet, and sometimes the Lord truly has been helping you along and you were just too stubborn to recognize it.

So, to let everyone in on a little secret I have figured out: Remember, THE LORD LOVES YOU, your family loves you, Your friends love you, I LOVE YOU, and people you don't know are watching and admiring you. YOU ARE NEVER ALONE! And when you feel like you are just remember, the Lord is there. He is carrying you through whatever it is you are going through, even if you don't recognize it at the time. Every day you have something to be thankful for. Some days you may just have to try a little harder to find it. The Lord wants to answer our prayers, but sometimes the answer we are looking for is not the one we are ready to receive. And sometimes, we're just going to have to weather the storm. After all, isn't that how you learn to appreciate the sunshine?!

I LOVE this song! It truly reminds me of how I have been feeling recently. I hope you enjoy it as well.

Welcome to December.....

Well, It's DECEMBER! Know what that means? cummear, I'll tell you.... *whisper* It's almost Christmas!!! *whisper* :) It's also blisteringly cold outside, people start to drive really stupid due to the snow(fact: I almost got hit by the missionaries the other day!!!!!) People are either extremely grumpy, or overly cheerful, and you ALWAYS have a topic of conversation with kids(what do you want Santa to bring you for Christmas?!) It's also the end of the semester. Which means: dead week, and Finals! yuck! But, then we get like, A MONTH OFF!!! YAHOO! and when we go back, we will have new classes which bring new friends, and new adventures. So it will be great!! Last night my roommate Mariana and I spent a little bit of time decorating the apartment for Christmas. We put our tree up and hung some tinsel and put up our Nativity Set. because after all, it wouldn't be Christmas without Christ.

It really helped get into the Christmas mood. Not to mention, there's a little bit of snow outside. It was a much needed distraction. Things have been kinda crazy. Keeping busy with work and school, being sick, and getting everything ready for end of semester and the beginning of next. Plus there's always the stresses of life. It was hard to feel the joy and excitement that Christmas time usually brings, however I think I found it last night! Now let's just hope the snow sticks around because after all, what would it be like to not have a White Christmas? :( Sad I think. Anyway, I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas is one of my favorite Christmas songs! :) It gets super stuck in my head, but that's ok! I hope you enjoy it as well! And I hope you are beginning to feel the Christmas spirit also!!!

just a close up on a few of our cute ornaments we use to put on my family tree when I was younger.

November Thankfulness....

As we are all well aware we just finished up the month of November. What's so special about November? well, there's usually snow, delicious food, family time, and fun holiday traditions(one of my favorites is The Nutcracker!). Plus, the added spitirt of Thanksgiving that most people seem to have. I know it's everywhere during the month of November. and of course, November isn't the only time we should be thankful, but it does seem to manifest itself a lot more around Thanksgiving than any other time of year. So naturally, facebook seems to be one of the best places to talk about life and what you're thankful for. I joined in and did the Thanksgiving thankfulness countdown, and here's what I came up with: November 1: today i'm thankful for rice bags. :) they are so wonderful to curl up with when your body is achy, tired, and cold. November 2: Thankful for sleep. :) I'm feeling much better now! November 3: thankful for amazing friends(and their wonderful husbands that take such good care of them!), great girl talk, pizza, laughter, memories, and continuously building relationships. :) What a fun girls night I had with Heidi and Rebeka! November 4: Today I'm thankful for laughter, naps, pampering oneself, M&M's, heaters, and wonderful friendships that just keep growing stronger despite the fact that although we're at different stages in our lives. Life is so good! November 5: Is grateful today for simple messages that may not mean much to the sender, but did to me. Thank you. November 6: today I'm thankful for my moms awesome sewing skills, sundays, firesides, President Boyde K. Packer, chocolate chip cookies, friends, tissues, testimony meeting, my ward, great movies, laughing with my roommate, puzzles, peanutbutter, and my brothers and sisters. November 7: is thankful for skype, crockpots, laughter, friends, random visits, family home evening, temples, and days off. :) November 8: today I'm thankful for; leftovers, living in Logan, seeing friends on campus, hugs(and meeting my hug quota for the day!), my nieces and nephews, a wonderful sister-in-law that feeds me delicious dinner, facebook conversations, friends with wonderful words of wisdom, my yellow trench coat, the Cha-cha, bluezone, blankets, cold meds, and sleep! :) November 9: today I am thankful for: bananas, my wonderful co-workers, fun people in my classes, facebook(and how much fun it is to argue about for an in class discussion,) the opportunity I have to go to college, free prints at the USU computer labs, my religion, and the many wonderful leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. November 10: today I'm thankful for the wonderful relationship I have with my roommate. And the knowledge that if we need one another, we'll be there. Our fun adventure trying to fix her car, random 10pm trips to walmart, laughter, and being able to vent on bad days. November 11: today I am thankful for family. both extended and immediate. My siblings are the greatest. Went to lunch with most of them today and had a great time! And my nieces and nephews are oh so adorable. I'm thankful that my immediate family lives close so I can see them often and be there to help bring up my lil munchkins. November 12: is thankful today for missionary letters. :) and all of the amazing young men and women serving our Lord and representing The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints all across the earth. November 13: today I am thankful for the Gospel, and the Holy Ghost. It's remarkable how it all works. I'm also thankful for great friends and fun times. and Dawna Webb and everything she does for people and the wonderful things she does to bring people together! November 14: today I am thankful for Johnathan in my English class for helping me print my assignment since I forgot my student ID card, Nicole Homer for just being awesome and giving up like a half hour of her afternoon to just sit and chat with me, the academic advisers up on campus for helping me be less stressed about registration, hamburger helper, and all of the wonderful people in my life that put a smile on my face. November 15: today I am thankful that I chose to ride the Aggie shuttle up from the bottom of old main instead of walk because it means I got to see the wonderful Paige McMurdie, and Alex Fronk, the beautiful Heidi Brandley Thorne, and I got to spend more time chatting with the fantastic Lexi Nielsen because I got to class earlier. :) Who knew making a 'lazy' decision could be so beneficial?! ;) hahaha. and I am also grateful for getting to spend time with friends. It's the best! November 16: today I am thankful for good Monday/Wednesday/Friday classes. And all the people that make them good. especially people like Misty Inglet, Nicole Homer, and Ashley Bingham! November 17: Today I am thankful for those times when things just work in your favor, even if at first they don't seem like they will.(I got into all of the classes I wanted!!) November 18: today i'm thankful for shelter from the storms of life- bot in Nature and personal/emotional storms. November 19: had a lot of things to be thankful for today: fun times spent with friends, the beautiful valley I have to live in, good entertainment, friends trusting you with exciting secrets, and seeing two people so in Love and knowing their love is Eternal. :) November 20: Today I am thankful for Cameron Bartlett and his willingness to help me out with what could have been a potentially awkward assignment. :) I am also thankful for my great ward and how strong the spirit always is in our meetings. November 21: today I am thankful for: Cancelled classes, warm blankets, Netflix, and my "remarkable yet not the best idea ever" talent to write good grade earning papers in extremely short amounts of time right before class...... November 22: today I had the opportunity to see my cousin Coden, his beautiful wife Ashlee, and their remarkable baby girl Sophie. Today, I am thankful for miracles. In reality, little Sophie shouldn't be here today but because of modern day technologies, the priesthood, the hand of the Lord, and many answered prayers she is a happy, healthy, growing little girl. It is great having Cody and Ash in Logan and I am really looking forward to getting to spend more time with them and getting to know them better. ♥ family is the greatest. November 23: Today I am thankful for my friends. They are the greatest!! Girls nights are great, spending time with friends I haven't seen for a while is awesome, and hearing cute little stories and getting giddy with my girls from high school will never get old. :)

November 24: Today i'm thankful for the life I have to live. It isn't perfect, there are things I don't like, and there are things I wish I could change, but I am try blessed. I have the best family, adorable nieces and nephews, wonderful friends, a good job, the opportunity to get an advanced education, a nice apartment, the blessing of the Gospel in my life, a beautiful valley to live in, and blessings beyond measure. Never forget that even when life is not going your way that you have so much to be thankful for!

The last few months have not been the easiest for me. I have had struggles, but I have so many things to be thankful for. It is always so fun to record what you were thankful for and then go back and read it a little while later. Some of these things feel like they happened just the other day, and others feel like it was more than just a few weeks ago. It is nice to have the reminder that I am so very blessed. Life may not always go they way I'd hoped or planned, but despite it all, there is ALWAYS something to be thankful for! Even on your hardest days......